I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize