lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize