and you said cock pushups were impossible
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
