Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
