I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
