Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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