No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize