OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
