I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
