Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
