Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
