you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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