Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
