i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
