I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
