is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
