Quick, to the slutcave!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
