girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
