did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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