dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I lost the right to judge tonight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
