I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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