Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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