We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
