South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
