that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
