life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize