THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
