It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can Purell be used as lube?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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