Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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