so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
