Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
