In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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