Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
