We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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