its not stalking. its research.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The adults are the big ones right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
