Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
