I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
