Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
