I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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