I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
