Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
there's paper in my vomit.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
