they said they heard you say put it in my butt
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
