my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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