brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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