who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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