I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
