It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
