I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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