i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
