My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
