so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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