dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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