That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
