This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
only you would photoshop your dick
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
