I bet he comes in French.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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