Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think I sprained my soul last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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