i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
