Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
