my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
