how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have fence marks all over my body
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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