So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
