the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
