she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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