have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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