please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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