Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
