We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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