already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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