Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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