My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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